im so CONFUSED!!

argh!!!
i want to get away form Redcliffe sooo badly.
but i don't exactly know why.
i don't know what im thinking, i never know what all my thoughts mean.
honestly,
why even bother anymore?
im stuck here anyway.
im sick of just thinking "Meh. im just like everyone else,
so why make an effort for myself?
its not like im gonna get anywhere in life."
but the thing is,
i know i can be successful.
im not really used to success
and it would be an amazing feeling to live my life based around it.
i want to have a future. i don't want to blow all my chances while im still young and stupid.
all these old fashioned quotes are so right! despite their many decades of increasing level of cliche-ness.
i think instead of ignoring my inner instinct,
i should embrace it
because along with my intellectual abilities, its all i have left.

here.

im sitting on a couch, with a laptop on my lap.
life is sweet right now.
the trees have blossemed.
so whats new? nothing is new to me,
casual thoughts from a casual mind.
"Aaron A Aaronson."
oh my, what a name.
anyway i dk wat life would be like without the sweeter things.
like close friends and family.
gosh what would i do without them?! i have this overwhelming fear of being alone for too long.
it can often bring me to tears,
bbut honestly, what doesnt make me cry?
im so cold and this laptop is soooo warm.
guess whos going to be snuggling with simone tonight guys? (:
anyway i do believe this is enough here.
i hate having to read excessive ammounts of absolute blabber.
*end of post*
heheh (: